Skip to main content

BEDA NILAI

Salah satu hal yang mengganggu pikiranku belakangan adalah pertengkaran antara aku dan mama beberapa hari yang lalu. Bukan yang pertama kali si sulung yang keras kepala ini bertengkar dengan sosok yang sebenarnya sangat ia sayangi. Tapi karena aku tak bisa memahami pendapatnya, sekali lagi pertengkaran itu meledak.

As always, it started from a very simple thing. Cuma gara-gara mama memintaku pulang ke Jogja 2 kali dalam 2 minggu berturut-turut, untuk menghadiri pernikahan sepupuku. Langsung aku tolak. Aku memang merencanakan pulang untuk pernikahan salah seorang sepupuku, tapi pernikahan sepupuku yang satu lagi sungguh gak ada dalam jadwalku. Dengan segudang alasan aku ngeles : pertama - siapa suruh nikah ngedadak, kedua - emang gak ngabis2in duit apa, ketiga - aku tidak merasa perlu menghadiri pernikahan itu.

Poin terakhir itulah yang kayaknya bikin mamaku berang. Menurut beliau, aku harus menghadiri pernikahan sepupuku, demi menghormati 'kekeluargaan' yang ada. Apalagi aku memutuskan datang ke pernikahan yang satu. Gak adil. Sementara buat aku, so what gitu lho? Apalagi aku gak pernah dekat sama sepupuku yang kedua ini. We never grow up together, so honestly, aku gak pernah merasa ada hubungan yang spesial. She is my cousin by blood, tidak kurang, tidak lebih. Dan aku tidak punya kepentingan buat dateng. Doh, jahat ya aku? Cuma itu yang aku rasakan. Mau diapain?

Hhhh, itu kali ya yang disebut beda nilai antara kita sama generasi ortu kita. Mau diterangin sampai kayak apa juga gak bakal ada titik temunya. Urusan tetek bengek keluarga, aku males berat. Disuruh ke nikahan sodara, aku pasti cari seribu satu alasan buat gak dateng, kecuali itu orang-orang yang aku anggap memang dekat sama aku. I'm tired being a good girl, a good daughter, a good niece, a good cousin !!!! Kenapa aku selalu disuruh jadi anak baik, ngemong sama adik-adik, care sama om dan tante, selalu jadi panutan, etc, etc, sementara yang lain cuek-cuek saja? Saat ini, gak ada yang pengen aku pikirin kecuali diriku sendiri!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thanksgiving 2020

What a crazy ride we have been riding in 2020. The COVID-19 pandemic has pretty much put our life on hold, if not going on a slower pace. I feel that we are running a marathon, and it's not over yet. The emotional toll that we have been experiencing since March is real. Everything that we used to take for granted, like meeting up with friends, birthday parties, kids activities, traveling, the convenience of doing grocery shopping anytime we want, a lot of them have been taken away from us, from my family. No more parties, no more lunch or dinner with friends, no more invitation for birthday parties, no more traveling. Perhaps my life had become too easy before the pandemic. We had to switch Nathaniel from a brick and mortar school to a cyber school. I tried to plan my grocery trips ahead of time to avoid crowds. We had to wear masks everywhere. But at least we are healthy. At least I am facing this together with my husband and kids as a family. At least I am at home that is fu...

Rediscover childhood ...

When Iis asked whether I'd like to join a traditional Indonesian dancing ~ Balinese, I was hesitated. Last time I did Balinese dance was in Nyoman Gunarsa's Sanggar Dewata around 1989. I started dancing Balinese at age 4 when I saw my older cousins dancing, so I told my mom that I wanted to dance. Wrong decision :p! My mom enjoyed bringing me to the dance club, more than I enjoy dancing, and I was stuck for more than 6 years :p I knew that I wasn't talented, but she just didn't let me quit no matter how much I begged, hahaha. I finally quit because I needed to study more to prepare for Ebtanas (I know, I know it's such a lame excuse, hehehe) . Never crossed my mind that I would dance again. First because I didn't enjoy it, second because I am not talented. When finally I say yes, I'll come, I thought it would be the first and last time :) But I was wrong. It's fun and I enjoy it. This time is different because my mom doesn't tell me to do the dancing...

What would they decide ?

When I was a little girl, I heard a lot of stories about far-away lands from my mother. She told me stories that she got from my father's letters when he was away. Our family was apart for four years. My father went to school to Montpelier, France while my Mom raised my brother and me in Yogyakarta. Every other year Dad visited us, brought a lot of books and pictures home. Pictures of Versailles, Lourdes, Marseilles, Spain, and a lot more. He told us many stories, brought me from our little home to those countries, although only in imagination. Since that day, I convinced myself that someday, when I grow up, I will see those places with my own eyes :) About twenty some years later, my turn came. I stand here, a few thousand miles away from home. About once a week I call home, talked to my parents about this place. About the harsh winter in Pittsburgh, about my new town near Philadelphia, about my new job. I might not be here if my father never brought me those pictures, told me st...