I think I really should start to write in English, although the taste will not be the same as if I write in Bahasa. Otherwise my English will not improving much :D *Walah, sadarnya baru setelah hampir 2 taun di US :p)
Last week a hang out with friends of mine, starting with hang out in coffee shop, three of us was barely talking to each other since I faced our own laptop, doing our works. It ended up with a nice dinner in my friend's house. Since the weather was very nice, my friend setup a table in herbackyard, then we had dinner.
As usual, after so many topics, we talked about relationship. We talked about our histories, how we faced it at that time, and how we see it differently now. It's amazing to see how most of us are blind when we were in an unhealthy relationship. We throw ourselves for our partner, doing anything to please him/her, and even sacrifise ourselves, and feeling pleased to do those (now I call them :)) stupid stuffs.
It's funny yet stupid to see how we wait for someone that we (think) we really love, one, two, three, or maybe for someone is seven or ten years. Then we blame our partner (or partner-to be) when it ended up hurting us. But if I now try to look it differently, it is us that created our own jail, not our partner. Maybe, he/she never promise something to us, maybe, he/she implied it, but after all, no one ever took our free will except ourselves.
Funny how we should ride emotional roller coaster and took a long time to realize all of those stuffs. For some people, they can realize it right away, for others (including me) take years.
One thing for sure, we should love ourselves before we can wholeheartedly love others and start a healthy relationship. Hopefully, sooner or later, I'll start one, from scratch, with no history whatsoever that can burden it, but treat my histories as lessons from the past.
No matter what, as my friend say, being single or in a relationship, we will be fine as long as we are feeling fine with ourselves :)
Last week a hang out with friends of mine, starting with hang out in coffee shop, three of us was barely talking to each other since I faced our own laptop, doing our works. It ended up with a nice dinner in my friend's house. Since the weather was very nice, my friend setup a table in herbackyard, then we had dinner.
As usual, after so many topics, we talked about relationship. We talked about our histories, how we faced it at that time, and how we see it differently now. It's amazing to see how most of us are blind when we were in an unhealthy relationship. We throw ourselves for our partner, doing anything to please him/her, and even sacrifise ourselves, and feeling pleased to do those (now I call them :)) stupid stuffs.
It's funny yet stupid to see how we wait for someone that we (think) we really love, one, two, three, or maybe for someone is seven or ten years. Then we blame our partner (or partner-to be) when it ended up hurting us. But if I now try to look it differently, it is us that created our own jail, not our partner. Maybe, he/she never promise something to us, maybe, he/she implied it, but after all, no one ever took our free will except ourselves.
Funny how we should ride emotional roller coaster and took a long time to realize all of those stuffs. For some people, they can realize it right away, for others (including me) take years.
One thing for sure, we should love ourselves before we can wholeheartedly love others and start a healthy relationship. Hopefully, sooner or later, I'll start one, from scratch, with no history whatsoever that can burden it, but treat my histories as lessons from the past.
No matter what, as my friend say, being single or in a relationship, we will be fine as long as we are feeling fine with ourselves :)
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