Every day has its own story

Nada pilu di tengah amukan badai salju di luar sana ... Salju yang meleleh, dingin menusuk tulang ... Air yang menggenang, perlahan membeku dan licin ... Hanyut di tengah musim dingin yang tak berujung ... Bermimpi terbangun di cerahnya musim semi ...

Love this pic so much! Thanks to Joek the photographer. I really miss Pittsburgh crowd.

# Masak apa Mit hari ini? * Terong balado sama nggoreng teri. # Lhaaa ... katanya hidup di Amerika ???? Setiap kali chating sama teman dan ngomongin soal makanan, sering ujung-ujungnya di situ. Ya gimana ya sodara2, sekolah boleh jauh-jauh ke ujung dunia, tapi perut saya tetep perut Indonesia :D, yang sering kali nggak mantep kalo belum makan nasi. Pembicaraan biasanya berlanjut begini. # Bawa dari Kalasan ya terinya :p ? *Nuduh mode on * * Huahaha. Gak lah, kemaren beli di toko Korea # Ada ya? * Ada, tempe aja ada kok, ya nggak gampang nyarinya, tapi ada yang jual. Untuuuuung, untung, sekolah ke sini, bukan ke Jerman atau Prancis, atau Italia. Konon di sana tidak segampang di sini untuk mencari bahan2 makanan Asia, apalagi bumbu2 Indonesia. Syukurlah di sini masih ada bumbu instant munik (kayak indofood gitu, tapi lebih uenak), tahu tempe bisa dicari, kalo mau sarapan indomi pun bisa, hehehe. Tapi, gara2 itu pula, ketrampilan saya memasak American food (btw, sebenarnya apa sih America...

All right, what's up after three weeks being in Royersford? My first week was horrible. I got sick and could not go to work at my second day because the centralized heater could not warm my room up. All I had for eat was just tasteless microwaveable foods like instant pasta, so out of desperation I almost asked my friend to send me rice from Pittsburgh, hahaha. I was also suffered from the weather, which somehow felt colder than Pittsburgh (it's not true :p). After that painful week, life is getting better and easier. It's not perfect, but I am hanging in there, cross my finger :) As I mentioned to some of you, this such a small town is way smaller and quieter than Pittsburgh, which I considered so quiet when I just moved from Jakarta - "the waterworld" :p. Royersford is just a typical American suburb near the highway, with friendly neighborhood, spacious environment, and almost no public transport. This town is located north-west of Philadelphia, about fifty minu...

Do you know how it feels when the winter seems would never end? When bitter-cold enters your bones, and the winter wind slap your face? Feels like dying ... This little town feels colder than Pittsburgh, although it is in fact the other way around.

If I often say "Let it be to me according to Your words" , I guess now is time when I should proof that I really mean it. That my part is to seek and to do my best, but it is His part to decide what is the best for me. It is indeed so hard. What I know so far is how to do my best according to my capacity. But I do not know how to let Him do his invisible part. I never understand the way it works. So I guess it is time to learn :)

I've been hurt but I am healed. I've been through the worst and I survived. So there is no regret for whatsoever, because I know it for sure.

Dear Mita and Wawan Gak trasa akhir tahun telah tiba. Banyak ya yg sudah terjadi di th yang lalu. Entah itu kesulitan atau justru berkat Tuhan telah kita alami bersama. Betapa banyak permohonan kita yang sudah dikabulkan oleh Tuhan. Jangan kita lupakan apa yang sudah terkabul. Dan itu tantangan ke depan yg harus kita laksanakan. Berkat yang Tuhan berikan kepada kita meminta kita yg melaksanakan dengan baik di bawah kontrol Dia tentunya. Jangan2 ntar gak dikasih lagi ama Tuhan klo kita gak lakukan dengan baik. Papa n mama makin "tua" tapi gak mau bersemangat tua. Banyak yg harus dilakukan ke depan. Refleksi juga perlu apa yg kurang pada diri kita masing-masing. Be your best my dears. Kamu berdua punya kesibukan yang masing-masing berbeda dalam hal jenis maupun kadarnya. Yang pasti kita harus bertanggung jawab atas pekerjaan dan kehidupan kita. Jangan menyerah akan hal-hal yang seharusnya masih bisa kita kerjakan. Love, Mama

It's Wednesday morning in the Burgh. The sun shines a little, yet it is quite cold outside. It was flurries for a while this morning, the temperature drops since two days ago, bitter cold. A typical January for Pittsburghers. I am moving out from this city soon. This place has become my shelter for the last two years, and now it is time to pack my bags. My next destination will be Royersford, a small town sub-urb of Philadelphia, still in the state of Pennsylvania. Excited? Well to be honest I am grateful for this job, but not 100% excited to move. Moving is always stressful. You have to pack your stuffs, find an apartment or a room, adjust to new people, environment, and new jobs. Not that I don't enjoy meeting new people and make new friends. It is indeed always exciting, but right now I am just as lazy as a cat to move from my comfortable couch :) Mainly because I plan this next stop is just for a while, to be exact just one year, then going home for good. So another year in...

I have my Christmas fully blessed. Going to church with my friends, my second family here in the Burgh. Talking to my mom, dad, and my dear brother on the phone, being grateful that everyone is healthy and safe. I should not forget to say my prayer to thank Him for my graduation, and don't forget to mention the job that I just got (although not in Jakarta :). I can't complain You no more, too many blessed for me along this year. So hopefully I can do better next year, not just for myself but hopefully for others. There are some hope that I silently whisper in my pray, but no matter how everything will turn out, I will try to believe You more. I know it's going to be hard, but a long journey should be started with one single step. How about you guys? Hope that you have the merriest Christmas as I have. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 08!

Iya, aku tergoda untuk pulang. For good. So? Let's see ... aku pergi ke mana angin membawaku, huahahahaha.

Let's see following list and can somebody tell me where are we going? Indonesia oh Indonesia ... 1. Lapindo mud flood, how are you? Are you already forgotten by other newer issues? 2. First gold medal after the 10th day of SEA Games? Indonesia must be kidding! We forget long term training and competition, substitute them with instant solutions, and now we get the results. 3. Being the host of Climate Change Conference is definitely a plus, US is indeed the number 1 carbon dioxide producer, yet Jakarta sky is getting darker and darker due to pollution. 4. Floods in Jakarta happened to be a 5-years cycle, but currently have been yearly events. What have we done to avoid that? Nothing 5. After Indonesian flights are banned by European Union due to lack of safety and security standards, still we have long list of newer accidents : components fail from airplane, fire in airport, and a man with mental-illness successfully entered plane without ticket! 6. The average number of writing as...

Hang in there Mita, hang in there! That's what I am trying to say to myself. It's only one more week to go, and I will be D.O.N.E. with schools! Done, done, done. No more class, no more assignment, no more homeworks, not to mention I am going to have additional degree (hahaha, cheesy :p). Degree, well, it's not really a big deal for me. I should admit that I am happy that I have the opportunity to go back to school, meanwhile sometimes I feel that my knowledge is not really enough to have that degree. An old friend asked me one day - "What do you get by getting back to school?" Well, to be honest it's kinda difficult for me to answer it straightly. Of course I get more experiences and opportunities, yet how significant my achievements really are? I see other people with broader knowledge and deeper skills than mine, and some of them are not even go to graduate school. Make me kinda small sometime :) Anyway, I am still so happy that I will be done soon. It...

Well, it's been a while, and every time I tried to write something, I was lost. So, let's try with something simple :) Every time I go to St Paul Cathedral for a mass, I always feel something is really different from mass in Indonesia. Can you guess what it is? In Indonesia, many people come late, interrupt the mass by their obvious coming. But after the mass ended, they're not in a hurry to leave. People usually take sometime to do their personal prayer, either on their seat or light candles in front of statues. In United States, almost nobody come late. However, they line up to leave right after the closing song is ended. Almost no body has personal prayer after mass. If you have a minute prayer after mass, the church will be almost empty at the time you open your eyes. Anyway, just a simple-nonsense observation :)

Sekali lagi, pilihan ada di depan saya. Dan saya merasa bahwa saya benar-benar sendirian. I am on my own. Orang tua dan keluarga saya ada ribuan kilometer di belahan dunia yang lain. Suami/pacar saya nggak punya. Sahabat, ya, ada beberapa sahabat saya. Tapi somehow saya merasa sendirian dalam membuat keputusan. Dan saya takut. Ingin rasanya pulang ke rumah, merebahkan badan ke kasur yang empuk dan terbangun karena obrolan-obrolan orang tua saya di ruang tengah. Ingin rasanya saya bisa pulang, menghirup secangkir kopi bersama adik dan sepupu-sepupu saya, bertukar pikiran tentang semua konsekuensi dari pilihan yang harus saya ambil. Ingin rasanya melarikan diri ke gereja Kotabaru. Walaupun hanya duduk diam, memohon restu pada Dia yang memberi saya hidup. Tapi toh semua cuma keinginan :) Keputusan saya lah yang membawa saya kemari, sendiri menjejakkan kaki di kota ini. Jadi, ini adalah konsekuensi dari pilihan saya sebelumnya. Tuhan, saya cuma minta supaya Engkau menjaga saya. Supaya saya...

Namanya Ben, seorang pria 50 tahunan yang tinggal segedung denganku. Penampilannya agak nyentrik dan berbeda - pirang, agak bungkuk, dan terkesan kurang sehat. Aku sering bertemu dengannya di lobby apartment, sekedar say "hi". Dia biasanya mengajak ngobrol orang2 yang bertemu dengannya. Aku tak pernah melihatnya bersama orang lain. Tampaknya dia hidup sendiri dan tidak memiliki banyak teman. Beberapa hari yang lalu, aku dan temanku baru saja pulang, ketika kami bertemu dengannya di lobby. Dia duduk di sofa, wajahnya lebih pucat dari biasanya. Dia berusaha mengajak kami mengobrol, tapi apa yang diucapkannya lebih mirip gumaman tak jelas. Dia berkata bahwa dia baru saja pulang dari rumah sakit karena ia jatuh tak sadar di apartmentnya. Dia berkata dia perlu menyeberang jalan untuk pergi ke convenience store, tapi dia kuatir bahwa dia akan jatuh. Bahkan untuk berdiri dari sofa pun dia gemetaran. Akhirnya teman saya menemaninya kembali ke apartment, karena kami khawatir dia akan ...

Not much :) Tapi omong2 gw lama nggak nulis. Nah, gw cerita aja tentang 2 "anak" gw. Sejak gw pindah ke Centre Ave, gw jadi "single mother" dengan 2 "anak" :p, si kurus dan si gemuk. Resminya mereka adalah temen2 kerja gw, sesama anak Informatika ITB yang terdampar di Pittsburgh. Si sulung alias si kurus tidak terlalu merepotkan. Mungkin dia tidak terlalu merepotkan karena tidak suka makan ya :p Saking kurusnya, dulu gw lebih kenal nama panggilan dia "skeleton" dibanding nama aslinya :p *piss man :p*. Si kurus ini sukanya programming dan nyela gw (baca: melakukan mental abuse terhadap seniornya ini) sebagai balas dendam karena dulu gw katanya senior paling kejam waktu nge-os dia. Si kurus ini lumayan pinter masak, jadi kalo lagi males masak gw bisa nodong masakannya. Tapi ati2 kalo masak di depan dia, gak perfect dikit aja, dia bisa ngomel2 panjang lebar. Capeee deh :p Nah, yang nomer dua alias si gendut ini, yang bikin gara2 dan bikin panggilan ...

Rasanya gw berhutang sama seorang teman. Sekian lama saling menghilang, tiba2 ia muncul di dunia maya dan memberi testimony yang terlalu tinggi buat saya. He called me a true good believer. Oh man, I suddenly got a guilty feeling when I read his testimony. Hidup gw kayak roller coaster. Kadang di atas, saat gw merasa bisa melakukan apa pun yang gw mau, abis itu terjun bebas dan gw gak bisa ngapa2in, cuman njerit dan berharap semua segera berubah. Di roller coaster itu, kita nggak bisa ngapa2in selain percaya bahwa semuanya berjalan dengan baik dan nggak ada yang salah, thus kita akan baik2 aja. Yang bikin gw guilty feeling, gw ngerasa hidup gw jauh dari gambaran yang diberikan temen gw, terutama belakangan ini. Gw apatis, gw sering maki2 Tuhan. Gw - b u k a n - a true God believer. Tadi gw baca e-mail dari seorang kawan, dia bilang gini tentang katolikisme - Harus kuat dalam religiositas, berwawasan luas, pinter berargumen (nulis, etc), dan tidak boleh tinggal dalam menara gading. Gw ...

People come and you in our life. Sometimes they walk together with us for a long time, sometimes they just meet us in a single junction. They bring a lot of flavor in our life, from happiness to sadness, from emptiness to joy. No matter what flavor they bring, there is always lessons and experiences within it. When they leave, the lessons remain. Now I am trying to digest another important lesson.

A souvenir from last holiday. Thanks buat Dik Ilud n Mas Yoyok, finally I have a pic with my younger and only one brother.