Sekian lama gak rekoleksi, retret, atau menarik diri sejenak dari kesibukan - sadar gak sadar bikin aku terjebak dalam rutinitas, segala aktivitas - terutama pekerjaan, tanpa pernah memaknainya lebih dalam.
Kemaren aku rekoleksi, diajak teman yang kerja di Permata Bank. I found something missing. Kesempatan buat berefleksi, melihat benang merah dari kejadian sehari2 yang aku alami, dan mencoba melihat kehendak Dia terhadap hidupku itu apa seh.
Segala protesku terhadap Tuhan selama ini - makin parah setahun belakangan actually - pelan2 mendapatkan jawabannya. It's not an instant event - bukan pencerahan yang aku dapat tiba2 waktu rekoleksi kemaren. It's a long process for more than 1 years.
Pengalaman gagal, ditolak, gak diinginkan, tentu menyakitkan buat tiap orang. For me, it is really ruined me inside. Proses buat menyembuhkannya, really takes a long time. Starting with losing a person that means a lot to me, denial with the facts that he'd rather be with someone else than me, my rejection to continue being friends with him, my rejection to accept his apologize, getting along as friends with him again, ahhh ... a lot lah ....
Till it comes to a point that I can not do anything but accept it. Trying to move on, meet somebody else, hanging around with my friends ... It is pretty hard, but finally I can make it, although - still - I don't understand with it's all about.
Just trying to believe that there must be some reason behind ...
Kemaren, Romo pembimbingnya dengan cantik memaparkan sebuah perikop dari Kitab Suci. I am not a prayer, yet not a bible reader :) ... Tapi pemaparannya 'mempesonakan' huehehe ... bahasanya. And again, it helped me to see ... that from the worst thing, something good could come :)
Kemaren aku rekoleksi, diajak teman yang kerja di Permata Bank. I found something missing. Kesempatan buat berefleksi, melihat benang merah dari kejadian sehari2 yang aku alami, dan mencoba melihat kehendak Dia terhadap hidupku itu apa seh.
Segala protesku terhadap Tuhan selama ini - makin parah setahun belakangan actually - pelan2 mendapatkan jawabannya. It's not an instant event - bukan pencerahan yang aku dapat tiba2 waktu rekoleksi kemaren. It's a long process for more than 1 years.
Pengalaman gagal, ditolak, gak diinginkan, tentu menyakitkan buat tiap orang. For me, it is really ruined me inside. Proses buat menyembuhkannya, really takes a long time. Starting with losing a person that means a lot to me, denial with the facts that he'd rather be with someone else than me, my rejection to continue being friends with him, my rejection to accept his apologize, getting along as friends with him again, ahhh ... a lot lah ....
Till it comes to a point that I can not do anything but accept it. Trying to move on, meet somebody else, hanging around with my friends ... It is pretty hard, but finally I can make it, although - still - I don't understand with it's all about.
Just trying to believe that there must be some reason behind ...
Kemaren, Romo pembimbingnya dengan cantik memaparkan sebuah perikop dari Kitab Suci. I am not a prayer, yet not a bible reader :) ... Tapi pemaparannya 'mempesonakan' huehehe ... bahasanya. And again, it helped me to see ... that from the worst thing, something good could come :)
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