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For someone, somewhere ... outhere

Berpacu dengan waktu, mengejar deadline pekerjaan yang tak ada hentinya, bukan hal baru. Belum juga setengah nafas beristirahat, tumpukan pekerjaan baru sudah menanti. Semuanya seakan berpacu begitu cepat.

Tapi di penghujung hari, selepas semua kesibukan itu, waktu tiba-tiba berjalan begitu lambat ketika aku pikiranku menerawang tentang aku, tentang kamu, tentang kita. Mengapa waktu berjalan begitu lambat denganmu? Tak kunjung tiba waktunya kita bisa tertawa bersama lagi. Tentu saja yang kumaksudkan adalah tertawa lepas tanpa beban, tanpa topeng, tanpa kepura-puraan, tanpa keharusan. Mengapa tak kunjung tiba waktunya semua terhapus dari benak kita? Kemarahanku, kekecewaanku, dan harapanku padamu. Kekhawatiranmu, kejengkelanmu, mungkin juga kekecewaanmu padaku.

Semua memang tergantung dari kita berdua.Beberapa kali aku mencoba untuk menghapus kejadian-kejadian itu dari benakku. Menciptakan moment untuk segera memperbaiki keadaan. Sesaat aku mengira aku berhasil, tapi ternyata aku hanya menambah kacau keadaan. Selalu begitu yang terjadi. Mungkin terasa basi, tapi aku minta maaf untuk kekacauan itu.

Sampai akhirnya aku hanya bisa mengeluh dalam diamku. Aku mulai lelah dan ragu, mungkin waktu memang tak akan mengantarkan aku ke tempat dan masa di mana ada tawa kita bersama. Tak muluk-muluk aku mengharapkan tawa atau canda mesra. Tawa sebagai dua orang sahabat pun sungguh di luar jangkauanku.

Apa yang bisa kuperbuat? Tak ada. Hanya diam, hanya menunggu. Apa yang bisa kau perbuat? Hanya kau yang tahu jawabnya. Apapun yang bisa kau perbuat, kutunggu hal itu ...

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