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What if

Satu hal yang aku suka dari kost di Setiabudi adalah lingkungannya yang homy. Setiap pagi, saat aku berangkat ke kantor, serasa pagi menyapa dengan ramahnya. Sinar matahari yang cerah, suasana cukup rindang di sepanjang jalan, dan angin pagi yang semilir, selalu memberikan semangat baru, dan sekaligus mengingatkan aku untuk mengucap syukur - terutama kalau aku kelupaan berdoa sehabis bangun tidur ... hehehe.

Semangat, enthusiasm, bisa muncul dari apa saja, dari hal-hal kecil seperti pagi yang menyapa dengan ramahnya, sampai something we're trying to achieve. Setelah sekian lama enthusiasm itu hilang, kali ini aku menemukannya lagi, walaupun cuma sepercik. Sepercik yang harapan yang harus aku perjuangkan, till I get the result. Being enthusiastic when pursuing something, that's me. Something can be a matter of studying, career, or relationship ;). Now it's the time to be enthusiastic for a new opportunity. Detailnya, nanti saja lah ... hehehe.

Di luar masalah enthusiasm itu ... hari ini aku juga lagi nervous, masalah lain, dengan segala 'what if' di kepalaku. Gara2nya cuma sederhana, kalo curhat ke Setio juga pasti diomelin karena nggak penting ... hehehe. Bakal ada acara sama temen2, nah, di acara itu, aku pasti bakalan ketemu dia. And now, segala what if itu bermain di benakku ...

What if he is being cold in front of our friends?
What if he doesn't want to talk to me?
What if I can't control myself and being stupid in front of him and the others?
What if he told me that he already got a new girl friend?
What if we should go home together?
What should I tell him to start a conversation?
How should I response to his jokes?
Should I laugh a lot? Should I just smile a little?
What should I do when I meet him?
Should I look into his eyes when we're in a conversation?
What if he ignores me as the other day?
Should I show that I still care?
What if he doesn't like it?
What if he doesn't come?
What if I become so sad then crying again?
What if I get 'salting'? What if he get 'salting' either?


Huadouhhh, hal sepele kayak gini ajaaa ... ngapain juga dipikirin kayak mikir negaraaaa ??!!! Masalahnya aku takut, aku pusing, ARRRGHHH, it's all mixed !!

I want to see him, but I am also really scared ...


Oh God, hopefully everything will going fine. If it takes a miracle to happen to make it smooth, please do so ...

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