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Posting gak jelas ...

Harusnya sore ini aku janjian ma Sigit. Dah lama gak ketemu n ngobrol sama dia, sayangnya batal karena dia panas dalem, ya sudah deh. Temenku yang satu ini selalu punya energi untuk segudang kegiatan. Plus seribu cara untuk menghilangkan 'energi negatif'. Misalnya aja, dia pernah nge-sms aku, cerita kalau dia lagi kongkow-kongkow di taman mini. Bawa buku, gelar alas duduk terus piknik menikmati taman mini seorang diri! Hahaha, Sigit banget deh. Adaa aja yang dia kerjakan biar gak bete.

Sementara aku, kebalikannya banget. Kalau dah 'mental very low', aku paling gak bisa ngapa-ngapain. Kepala rasanya berat banget, kadang-kadang sampai pusiiing gara-gara kepikiran hal2 yang sebenarnya gak perlu dipikirkan. But what can I do? It just popping into my mind ... hfffhhh. Paling-paling terus aku menyibukkan diri, dengan segala yang bisa aku lakukan, such as nonton film, baca buku, ngeblog, mbersihin kamar :D, renang bolak balik bolak sampai capek. Tujuannya semuanya sama, biar bisa tidur nyenyak, hihihi ... garing yak?

Nah, itu pula yang jadi alasanku ketemuan ma dia, karena dia selalu punya pemikiran yang bikin aku semangat lagi! Dari dulu aku tuh punya cita-cita buat sekolah lagi, S2. Tapi sampai sekarang belum kesampaian ... Nah, all of a sudden, ada kesempatan lagi buat sekolah, it is a little chance, but possible. Tapi aku kok tiba-tiba gak punya keberanian yang cukup. Gak yakin dengan diri sendiri, gak yakin dengan keinginan yang aku punya, dan gak yakin dengan kemampuanku sendiri. Yang terakhir itu penyakit kambuhan dari dulu, yang sangat-sangat menyebalkan! Over all, I am a risk taker, tapi kali ini aku butuh support buat berani bikin keputusan itu, dan hmmmfff ... aku benci banget bahwa sekarang aku kehilangan semua keberanian yang aku punya itu.

Trus? Ya ... begitulah. Kalau motivasi bisa dibeli, aku beli dah walaupun harganya mahal. Di mana ya yang jual motivasi :D ?! Hfff, sorry, ngelantur, semua serba gak jelas. It is just like puzzle in my mind :D ...

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