I got this title from Ulus' blog a year ago.
Today is not much different than the other days. The only different thing is only now I am not 27 anymore. Waks, 28, time really flies :) I try to avoid this day, but all I can do is only leaving Jakarta to Pittsburgh so my birthday will be delayed for about 12 hours, hahaha. Yet it doesn't work pretty well, since a lot of friends had greeted me yesterday (they all said : using Jakarta's time, hahaha)
A birthday is always be a good milestone to evaluate ourselves. What have I done, have I made any difference during last 12 months, did I make any mistakes and failures, have I been a better person? It is also a good time to question ourselves, what do you want to do with your life from now on?
Buat saya, pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu tidak pernah mudah untuk dijawab. Saya mencoba melihat diri saya sendiri, apa bedanya Mita yang sekarang dengan Mita setahun yang lalu? To answer it quantitatively is easier than qualitatively: I was in working in Jakarta a year ago and now I am a student in Pittsburgh; I have proved (at least to myself) that I could get a better job after several trying during last 5 years; despite of the fact that I am a student, I still managed to pay for my housing loan, hahaha. But what is the meaning of those quantitative measurements?
The more you have, the more you should thanks to God. Which I almost forgot this morning. Instead of saying "Tuhan, terimakasih buat semuanya selama 28 tahun ini", my first sentence was "Oh Tuhan, saya capek dan masih ngantuk banget nih, meetingnya pagi bener ..." hahaha, kacau. Sayangnya, saya sering lupa. Berkali-kali mama mengingatkan saya untuk tidak lupa dengan Yang Di Atas, berkali-kali pula saya melupakan nasihat itu. Often in my hardest time, I chose just to walk away, atau pasang tampang cemberut kepada Dia, seolah berkata "Look what You have done to my life, it's a mess". I forget, or just don't care with abundance love He gives me all the time.
Hey, I said that it is quantitatively. How about the quality of your life? Have I been a better person? Do I have a good relationship with the loved ones? Sudahkah saya memberi banyak seperti saya menerima banyak dari orang lain? Sayangnya kok susah sekali dijawab. Yang paling gampang dulu deh : I doubt that I am now a better person than a year ago. Saya masih Mita yang sering menyalahkan keadaan & orang lain instead of learning from our experience. Saya juga masih Mita yang di satu sisi sangat tidak percaya diri, tapi di sisi yang lain sangat sombong dan arogant (nah lho, bingung dah ;)
Oh well, akhirnya, saya sampai kepada pertanyaan yang diajukan Dewi, sobat saya yang selalu mengajukan pertanyaan sulit : What wishes do you have for the year ahead? Boleh nggak saya memilih untuk tidak make a wish kali ini :) ? Atau ... probably just a simple wish : become a better person, qualitatively.
p.s. Thank you buat semuanya, yang di sini dan yang di sana.
Today is not much different than the other days. The only different thing is only now I am not 27 anymore. Waks, 28, time really flies :) I try to avoid this day, but all I can do is only leaving Jakarta to Pittsburgh so my birthday will be delayed for about 12 hours, hahaha. Yet it doesn't work pretty well, since a lot of friends had greeted me yesterday (they all said : using Jakarta's time, hahaha)A birthday is always be a good milestone to evaluate ourselves. What have I done, have I made any difference during last 12 months, did I make any mistakes and failures, have I been a better person? It is also a good time to question ourselves, what do you want to do with your life from now on?
Buat saya, pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu tidak pernah mudah untuk dijawab. Saya mencoba melihat diri saya sendiri, apa bedanya Mita yang sekarang dengan Mita setahun yang lalu? To answer it quantitatively is easier than qualitatively: I was in working in Jakarta a year ago and now I am a student in Pittsburgh; I have proved (at least to myself) that I could get a better job after several trying during last 5 years; despite of the fact that I am a student, I still managed to pay for my housing loan, hahaha. But what is the meaning of those quantitative measurements?
The more you have, the more you should thanks to God. Which I almost forgot this morning. Instead of saying "Tuhan, terimakasih buat semuanya selama 28 tahun ini", my first sentence was "Oh Tuhan, saya capek dan masih ngantuk banget nih, meetingnya pagi bener ..." hahaha, kacau. Sayangnya, saya sering lupa. Berkali-kali mama mengingatkan saya untuk tidak lupa dengan Yang Di Atas, berkali-kali pula saya melupakan nasihat itu. Often in my hardest time, I chose just to walk away, atau pasang tampang cemberut kepada Dia, seolah berkata "Look what You have done to my life, it's a mess". I forget, or just don't care with abundance love He gives me all the time.
Hey, I said that it is quantitatively. How about the quality of your life? Have I been a better person? Do I have a good relationship with the loved ones? Sudahkah saya memberi banyak seperti saya menerima banyak dari orang lain? Sayangnya kok susah sekali dijawab. Yang paling gampang dulu deh : I doubt that I am now a better person than a year ago. Saya masih Mita yang sering menyalahkan keadaan & orang lain instead of learning from our experience. Saya juga masih Mita yang di satu sisi sangat tidak percaya diri, tapi di sisi yang lain sangat sombong dan arogant (nah lho, bingung dah ;)
Oh well, akhirnya, saya sampai kepada pertanyaan yang diajukan Dewi, sobat saya yang selalu mengajukan pertanyaan sulit : What wishes do you have for the year ahead? Boleh nggak saya memilih untuk tidak make a wish kali ini :) ? Atau ... probably just a simple wish : become a better person, qualitatively.
p.s. Thank you buat semuanya, yang di sini dan yang di sana.
Comments
no worries about the part where you are blaming God and that your life is a mess.. :p
that's why you need His grace to continue on living, right?
Life is good.. Life is beautiful.
Happy 28! :)
lis : thanks a lot :)
met ultah yah..
GBU! =)
Selamat ultah mit (telat banget). All the best for the comin' year