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Mencoba merasa, dan hasilnya ????

Dia bahkan tak tahu siapa aku! Dia nggak tau aku cewek yang terlalu mandiri dengan segala ego. Cewek yang enggak pernah mau kalah dalam berargumentasi sampai pada suatu titik di mana ia melihat pendapat lawan bicaranya memang benar. Cewek keukeuh yang bisa sangat-sangat jutek kepada orang-orang yang nggak berkenan di hatinya. Cewek keras hati, sangat keras hati. Yang dilihat hanyalah Mita dua hari itu. Yang pendiam, gak banyak bicara, tapi dengan senang hati mencoba menanggapi mereka yang mencoba mengajaknya ngobrol. Dia pasti tak tahan menghadapiku jika tahu siapa aku sebenarnya ...

Duh Gusti, susahnya mencoba membuka hati. Dan hati ini tetap diam, tak mau terketuk ...

Aku tak mau memaksakan diriku ... semakin aku mencoba merasa ... semakin aku tak mau memaksa diriku sendiri. Dan sosok itu kembali bermain dalam benakku ... Sosok yang sama, yang meninggalkan amarah dalam hatiku, yang sering membuatku putus asa karena kebisuannya, yang membuatku bertekad melupakannya. Tanpa kuinginkan, dia kembali bermain dalam benakku ...

"Jangan tolak perasaan itu dengan logikamu ... ", nasehat itu kembali terngiang ... Susahnya mengakui perasaan kita, membiarkannya tetap hadir, sampai mungkin suatu saat akan hilang dengan sendirinya. Ya ... Aku mencintaimu ... mungkin itu harus kuakui untuk mengurangi beban ini.

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