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Angin Savana

Hari ini aku akhirnya browsing ke blogspot rekomendasi sahabatku: anginsavana. Ketika aku scrolling ke bawah, tiba2 aku senyum2 sendiri membacanya. Whoever writes anginsavana, dia seperti meneriakkan protes yang selama ini sering aku teriakkan, walaupun cuma di dalam hati.

Dalam blog nya, si angin savana bercerita tentang 'kuliah' dari bosnya kepada dia dan seorang temannya.

Ini potongannya (www.anginsavana.blogspot.com)

"Lebih lanjut lagi sang bos dengan semangat 45 nya mengatakan, "jika tabungan kalian sudah cukup nanti setaraf dengan kenaikan pangkat kalian, jangan dulu beli rumah ato mobil. Itu sangat tabu dihadapan pria. Pria akan turun gengsinya kalo ngeliat kalian sudah punya rumah. Mendingan mereka cari wanita lain untuk dikawini. Level kalian terlalu tinggi harus diturunkan. Jangan sampai tar gak laku-laku. Ini masalah harga diri pria yang sudah dari kodratnya gak bisa dilawan. Waktu kalian sebagai wanita terlalu pendek dan nanti akhirnya malah gak kawin-kawin."

That's what exactly I am feeling!!!
Akhir tahun lalu aku memutuskan untuk membeli rumah kecil di pinggiran Jakarta. Banyak yang memandangku dengan tatapan heran, atau kalaupun tidak berani mengucapkannya, aku yakin banyak yang membatin dalam hatinya ...
Keputusanku untuk membeli rumah kecil itu memang di-trigger oleh sesuatu yang kurang sehat. Dalam kesendirianku, aku benar2 merasa up and down. Aku gak punya seseorang untuk menyandarkan diriku, untuk sekedar membagi tangis bahagia maupun kesedihan dalam hatiku. Hatiku sangat hancur lebur, belum bisa menerima kenyataan ia meninggalkan ku begitu saja. And still now ... Semua cita2 kandas berantakan, cintapun melayang ... hahaha ... pantun yang cukup bagus bukan ;) ? Tapi tidak cukup bagus untuk dijalani. Pada saat ini aku mendengar bahwa dia - yang membawa lari cinta dari dalam hatiku itu - sudah memiliki rumah di pinggiran Jakarta. Sontak aku seperti tertantang. Enggak cuma dia, aku pun pasti bisa. Enggak harus dengan dia, sendirian pun aku bisa mewujudkannya.

Nggak banyak yang tau alasan awalku punya rumah. Aku selalu bilang aku mau nabung, dan untuk persiapan masa depanku sendiri. Banyak orang seolah-olah bilang dari pandangan matanya "Poor girl ... " Aku nggak mau dikasihani. Ada pula yang bilang, "Nanti cowok-cowok takut sama kamu ... " Dan itu sangat menusuk hatiku.

Si angin savana benar. Kenapa para cowok harus takut dengan cewek yang mapan? Karena ke-laki-lakiannya merasa direndahkan kah? Mengapa cowok harus takut dengan cewek yang berusaha bertanggung jawab atas hidup nya sendiri?

Walaupun aku memulainya dengan motivasi pembuktian diri, tapi itu bukan sebuah balas dendam. Salahkah aku jika aku mulai belajar bertanggung jawab atas hidupku? Enggak, enggak ada yang salah dengan itu.

Dan jika aku bertemu dengan seorang cowok yang akhirnya mundur hanya karena aku punya rumah, aku akan berkata kepadanya: mundurlah ... aku enggak butuh cowok yang enggak pede.

Sombongkah aku? Mungkin ... :) Keras kepala kah aku? Sangat :) ... Tapi yang jelas, masa depanku ada di tanganku sendiri ... Bukan di tangan siapa pun, juga bukan di tangan seseorang nun jauh di ujung sana, yang mungkin akan menjadi suami ku kelak.

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